i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
