You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
