And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
