I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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