So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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