Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Hippo gnu deer
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
