I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
