but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
