i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
