piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
