What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I love you. Go after that dick
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
