you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
