erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
