omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
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