12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
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I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
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Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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