the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i dont even know how to be here
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
