I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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