I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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