This girl is more easily done than said...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
