you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
how does that bad decision feel?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
