it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
