It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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