Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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