why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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