if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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