I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize