Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
