tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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