There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
