Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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