Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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