Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
