you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
