what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
