I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
