she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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