I want to make a zoo with you.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
