I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
operation harelip BJ is a go
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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