So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you inspire me to be a worse person
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
A+ Viking dick
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
