i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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