I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Randomize
