I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
