five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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