kristin has been a bad kristin
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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