i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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