lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
