you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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