Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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