It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
