Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
