You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
