The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
