"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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