If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
