I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
