so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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