Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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